Hey you…
yeah, you. Hi.
It’s been a minute, huh?
I know, I know. You’ve seen a few “updates coming soon” that never came. A few flirty hellos followed by silence. Maybe even whispered to yourself, *“Is she okay?”* And you know what? That question means the world to me.
Because the truth is—I haven’t been gone entirely, but I also haven’t really *been here* in the way I wanted to be either. This year was supposed to start with a bang, not a ghost. But sometimes plans turn into pauåes, and intentions get rerouted through real life and messy brain chemistry. And when that happens over and over again… it starts to feel like there’s never a right time to come back swinging.
So I’m not here to apologize, exactly. I’m here to do something a lot scarier: be real with you.
This post is a big one, and if you’ve been riding with me since the early days—or you just found me recently and decided to stay for the smut *and* the soul—then buckle up buttercup. Because we’re about to get vulnerable, personal, and future obsessed.
To the handful of you who *did* know what’s coming in the next section, thank you. You were my test pilots in radical vulnerability. You showed me that I could speak the full truth of my experience and still be held with love, laughter, and zero judgment. You’re the reason I believe I can say this next part out loud.
Let’s talk about the part of my story I’ve never shared with you all before… not fully.
A Little Brain Reveal: I’m Schizophrenic (and Still Hot and Slutty)
So here’s the truth I’ve never said out loud to you all before—at least not fully:
I’ve been living with schizophrenia for nearly five years. (Which is probably longer than you’ve been following my content.)
And I don’t mean that as a footnote or a vibe or some moody femme-in-chaos TikTok hashtag. I mean the real deal. My first acute phase came on during the chaos and isolation of quarantine, and since then… well, it’s been a hell of a ride.
This isn’t some dramatic “coming out” post—because I’ve *always* been your friendly neighborhood neurodivergent independent smut producer. My tagline wasn’t a metaphor, heart on sleeve . I’ve always made my art, my content, my connections… while navigating a brain that sees and hears and feels the world a little differently. You just didn’t know the name of the dragon I was riding.
And now you do.
And if you’re wondering why I’m telling you this now—why this year, this post, this moment—I’ll tell you: *this is the reason for all the disappearances*.
We all joke about it. “That’s just Cali being Cali!” The mid-year vanishing act. The epic ghosting. The radio silence followed by a surprise nude and a “Hey babes, I’m back!” And yeah—some of that’s just my chaotic little sparkle. But the truth is… I wasn’t just being quirky. I was struggling. Sometimes drowning. Sometimes orbiting a reality that didn’t quite line up with this one. And trying to *perform* normal while holding all that inside was its own kind of exhaustion.
But if I don’t have to tiptoe around what’s really going on… maybe I don’t have to disappear so completely. Maybe I can start creating a rhythm that works with my brain instead of against it. Maybe we can write the next chapter together—with more honesty, more presence, and less pressure to pretend I’m someone I’m not.
I’m not sharing this to dump trauma or win pity points (ew, no thank you). I’m sharing it because my relationship to this part of myself has changed. I've shed a lot of the shame society slaps on you when your brain doesn’t follow the "standard operating procedure." And the truth is, I have a pretty amazing life—a huge part of which is thanks to *you*.
Because schizophrenia isn’t some Hollywood horror plot twist. It’s not always screaming in alleyways or breaking with reality. Sometimes it’s confusion. Sometimes it’s too much information, too loud. Sometimes it’s patterns where none should be—or maybe patterns others just can't see yet. It’s also creativity, and clarity, and sensitivity to beauty in ways that feel like magic. And it’s absolutely influenced the work I make, the characters I channel, the flavors of kink I explore, and the kind of parasocial intimacy I cultivate with all of you.
Western medicine tends to treat schizophrenia like something to be managed, contained, minimized—often more for the comfort of others than the healing of the person themselves. But across different cultures, the same symptoms might be considered signs of spiritual awakening. A shaman’s birth. A medium’s gift. I think about that a lot. About how different the outcomes are depending on what world surrounds you when your mind begins to shift.
I was incredibly lucky. I had support. I had community. I had a little financial cushion, and a lot of love. Not everyone does(truthfully very few do).
So yeah… I live with schizophrenia. And I’m not just surviving—I’m still slinging smut, starting new ventures, and falling in love with this weird and wonderful life every day. But being open about this? It’s still a big deal for me. It still makes my heart pound and my stomach twist. I’m sharing it because I want to build something better with you. A more consistent fan experience. A healthier creative rhythm. And to do that, we have to start with the truth.
What It’s Actually Like Being a Schizophrenic Content Creator
Spoiler: Not what the movies taught you.
Let’s get this part out of the way first: if your idea of schizophrenia comes from TV dramas or that one “unhinged villain” storyline you half-remember from Law & Order… you don’t know shit about schizophrenia. And that’s okay. Because most people don’t.
But I do.
Because I live it. I work with it. I create, flirt, collapse, rebuild, connect, disconnect, rise again… all while steering a ship that’s not just sailing through sexy seas, but occasionally taking on water through invisible holes.
The most prominent thing I experience are audio hallucinations. Sometimes whispers. Sometimes conversations. Sometimes full symphonies of sensory nonsense. And the tricky part? Half the time, I don’t *know* it’s a symptom until I’ve already been soaking in it. That’s the thing about this flavor of neurodivergence—it isn’t always dramatic or cinematic. It can be slow, sneaky, and confusing as hell.
I’ve come to understand it like this: my symptoms don’t arrive one at a time like guests to a party. They show up like a flash mob—voices, time distortion, executive dysfunction, weird tangents of thought, pattern obsession, mood drops, derealization. It’s not always easy to tell where one ends and another begins. They’re like instruments in a discordant orchestra. And sometimes, it takes me a while to realize I’ve been listening to the wrong score.
And when that happens, everything else—content plans, messages, edits, sales, packing and shipping, relationships, sleep—gets canceled. Because when the boat’s filling with water, adventure has to wait. And the real kicker? Sometimes the boat is ¾ underwater before I even notice I’m wet.
That’s the part that affects you my fans. The disappearances. The missed launches. The unfinished messages and the soft promises that never bloom. It’s not laziness. It’s not flakiness. It’s me, bailing water, trying to keep the ship afloat.
And yet… I’m still ‘out here’. Still pushing boundaries. Still exploring my sexuality, my desires, and building this wild life on my terms. I am, undeniably, ‘thriving’. But I’d be lying if I said it was easy. From the outside, it might look like I’m gliding across this sparkly, self-made stage—but underneath, I’m navigating rocky terrain in 8-inch heels. Backwards. In space.
Now, I won’t pretend that schizophrenia is a superpower. Given the choice? I’d take fewer hallucinations and more stability, even if it meant giving up a bit of my weird sparkle. But the truth is—this brain of mine has made me more creative. More empathetic. More curious. It gives me perspectives that others can’t always access. My work is deeply shaped by it. The surreal, the intimate, the raw—it’s not an aesthetic. It’s the truth peeking through the veil.
Managing it? That’s a blend of self-care, solitude, carefully padded schedules, and leaning into my tiny circle of trusted people. Therapy, meds, all that stuff—some of it’s private, some of it’s evolving, and some of it’s none of anybody’s business. But I *am* managing. And it’s working, most days.
When I was first diagnosed, I was terrified of what it meant. Would people stop seeing me as sexy? Capable? Stable? Would I be reduced to a diagnosis? Would it kill my career?
But the reality turned out softer and kinder than the stories I’d been told.
Because most of you didn’t even know—and you’ve been loving me this whole time. You’ve been supporting a schizophrenic content creator for years. You just didn’t know the word for it. And now that you do? Nothing changes. Except that I don’t have to hide anymore. I can breathe a little deeper. Maybe disappear a little *less*. Maybe rebuild a better rhythm together.
Schizophrenia is not a death sentence for connection. I’m proof of that. You probably know other people with it too—friends, coworkers, creators you love. It’s a wide, messy, beautiful spectrum. And it doesn’t mean isolation. It doesn’t mean failure. It doesn’t mean the end.
It means I’m human. And maybe even a little more so than most.
What Now? New Era, No More Expiration Dates
Let’s change the energy, babe. This isn’t a pity party. I’m still the same Cali. You just understand me a little more now—and if we’re being honest? That’s kinda hot. In the immortal words of Buckcherry: “Hey, you’re a crazy bitch… but you fuck so good I’m on top of it.” (Words to live by)
So GOING FORWARD, we’re not tying our shenanigans to how far around the sun the planet is. Strike that. No more “yearly plans.” No more arbitrary pressure. No more waiting for January to be bold or June to regroup. We’re evolving past the idea that anything in my world has to follow a calendar. We’re working in rhythms, vibes, and whatever sexy divine timing we feel like summoning. And this is the royal we. By that I mean ME. But you’re coming along for the ride. Pervert.
I want to communicate when things happen or become relevant, not just when I feel like I’m supposed to update. That’s the energy moving forward. More frequent dispatches. Less pressure-cooker perfectionism. More consistency—not in the rigid corporate sense, but in the delicious, “oh wow, she’s really here with us” sense.
And speaking of that rhythm… let’s talk about the digital glow-up you may have already seen peeking out of the ether.
Mid-Post Time Out: Let’s Talk About …🐢
Alright, let’s take a quick breather from all the hard truths, and talk about something small—but mighty.
Let’s talk about 🐢.
If you’ve been around me long enough, you may have seen this little emoji show up in a tweet, a post, or a message with no real explanation. And now? I’m giving it the love it deserves.
🐢 is my lifeline. My pressure valve. My “don’t freak out, I’m just going dark for a bit” signal.
It’s something I came up with on my own—because sometimes words are just too damn much. When symptoms start piling up and the orchestra of my mind starts going off-key, 🐢 is my shorthand to let you know that I’m not ghosting you. I’m not mad. You didn’t mess up. I’m not spiraling in a way that needs a rescue mission.
I’m just… going in my shell for a bit.
And here’s the cool part: you don’t have to do anything. You don’t need to worry or decode or overthink. 🐢 says it all. It’s soft. It’s sacred. It’s shorthand for a whole symphony of stuff that doesn’t need to be explained every time.
It’s Turtle Power™, baby. And in a world that moves too fast and demands too much, being able to say “I’m turtling” and be understood is the kind of magic that keeps friendships, communities, and love alive.
So now you know. If you ever see 🐢—that’s not a flake. That’s not a fade. That’s me putting on my shell, handling my business, and promising to poke my cute little head back out as soon as I can.
And when I do?
The sluttiest season resumes.
You feel that breath? That pause? That was 🐢 in action.
Now back to your regularly scheduled smutty vibes update. Already in session.
Introducing: TheCaliReign.com
So… *the rumors are true.* There’s a new dot-com in town.
[**TheCaliReign.com**](https://thecalireign.com) is your new safe-for-work sanctuary—built to be a reliable home base for fan communication, updates, sneak peeks, and all the “if you know, you know” breadcrumbs that link up with my spicier playground over at ifuckfans.com.
It’s still in soft-launch mode (so if the site’s not live yet when you check, just keep refreshing like it’s an OnlyFans drop). But this new home exists because—*real talk*—the newsletter for ifuckfans has been blacklisted and banned by every mainstream mail platform. It became impossible to reach you reliably.
So we made a respectable lil’ digital address. A buttoned-up big sister with tasteful cleavage and a reliable inbox.
Every time I post something on the blog there, it means a new treat just dropped on the spicy side. Think of it as our secret knock. If you see a blog post on CaliReign.com, it’s your cue to pop over to ifuckfans.com and see what delicious nonsense I’ve left you. And if you’re in a cubicle or on the train or just not somewhere NSFW-safe? You can still stay in the loop, feel connected, and read the full *non-nude* me.
It’s not just a workaround. It’s an evolution. One that gives me—and you—a place to breathe between the nudes. And yeah… it also means we can *finally* have a email newsletter again.
GO JOIN THE MAILING LIST. If you’re on the list for IFF you will automatically get added, but I would rather have your email 7 times in different places then you miss an update :)
Seriously. Do it now. Because updates will live there first, and I want you with me at every juicy stop along the way.
The New Fan Co-Star Coin Program: Creamy and Collectible
The consensus is in. All of you like the coins and want more coins and coin opportunities.
Alright. So, real talk? The 101 Cream Pie Challenge I spent 2024 checking off boxes on was hot as hell…and well received . But the time constraints and expiration dates made it *way* more stressful than slutty. Me stressing me out trying to meet arbitrary date set by me.
So this year? Strike that. No more of that. **Going forward**, I’m removing *arbitrary deadlines* and *expiration-based stress* from my business *and* my body. And yes, baby, that makes the program more flexible—like my morals 😘
TL;DR: Now there are two tokens where in the past would have been just the one. For the 101 Creampie initiatives you only got a coin when the deed was done. Going forward you will now receive a seperate token when you have earned the right to be a costar and then a second coin when you actually fulfill (emphasis on fill) your costar duties.
I was inspired by historical brothel tokens from the Wild West, and that seems to be the right vibe.
Let me introduce you to the **new Fan Co-Star Coin Program**. These are real, physical brothel-style tokens—hand-engraved, numbered, and tracked. Each coin guarantees the holder a one-on-one in-person session with me (pending screening, safety, and availability). Once redeemed, you’ll receive a second *achievement coin* to mark the moment we made smutty, unforgettable magic together.
They are:
- **Forever Valid** (no expiration, ever)
- **Fully Tracked** (one-time use, per coin ID)
- **Non-refundable, non-transferable**
- **Yours to keep** even after redemption
- **Flexible** (multiple coins *may* be combined for longer sessions… *at my discretion*)
Like I said, These tokens are styled after old-school Wild West brothel coins and the first batch off the mint are from my “Cali Reign’s World Famous Creamery Ranch.” And honey—they are *gorgeous*.
These tokens are your one-way pass to a real-life, in-person, on-camera session with me—modeled after my standard NYC “Makes a Video With Cali” offering (normally priced at $1,000/session).
But to open the gates a little wider and bring more co-stars into the fold, I’m rolling out the first launch in three inclusion-minded pricing tiers: yes there will be contests and giveaways, but the reality is the majority of you will buy them. So I’m trying to make that opportunity available to a wider portion of you lovely people. Even…in this economy.
39 discounted tokens. 13 in three price tiers. When they are gone they are gone.
- **Tier 1**: 13 coins at $425 each
- **Tier 2**: 13 coins at $550 each
- **Tier 3**: 13 coins at $750 each
You may only buy one coin per tier.
No bulk buying. No hoarding. I want more fans to get a shot at this.Yes, you can buy one coin from each tier at once.
If you want to collect the whole creamy set, go right ahead.Combining coins for longer sessions?
At my sole discretion. I’m the madam here, sugar.All standard screening and testing requirements still apply.
Don’t skip this. No clearance = no coin redemption.No refunds. No cash value.
This isn’t a Groupon, sweetheart. It’s a golden ticket
Now, a quick word about these lower pricing tiers:
They exist for fans who may not be able to access my usual session rates due to economic limitations. I want these coins to be accessible to real people—not just whales with a wallet full of NFTs and a heart full of entitlement.
So if you just cashed out your startup equity, sold your sixth investment property, or bought Bitcoin in 2011? Please pay full freight. You won’t feel it. And someone else might actually need that entry-level price.
If I catch you rich-people-slumming with a Tier 1 token?
It will be bad for you.
Not the fun kind of bad.
The “And Cali’s wrath echoed through the cantons” kind of bad.
There will be other ways to get these coins—contests, giveaways, secret missions for my most cunning and devoted fans. But the vast majority will be purchased, and these are the only 39 being released in this first drop. And since I’m
Done tying myself to years, WHO KNOWS WHE/IF THEY WILL EVER BE AVAILABLE AGAIN?
If you’ve ever dreamed of joining me on camera, pressed between the pages of my legacy, and walking away with proof in your hand—this is your moment.
Or maybe I should say…
This is your cream. 😏
Other Delicious Initiatives (a.k.a. “More Cali, Less Chaos”)
There’s more. Oh, there’s *so much more*. These are all projects on the horizon that are passed the “I have this idea” phase and are nearly ready for public consumption.
You’re about to see a full-fledged relaunch of the CaliVerse this year—including:
- **Discord Overhaul** – We’re talking new channels, new quests, a loyalty points system, and spicy social games. It’s the comeback of Cali’s corner of chaos, but streamlined like never before. This made it all the way into active testing earlier this year before my big 🐢 moment.
- **CaliCoin Relaunch on Solana** – My signature loyalty token is being reborn as memecoin of legend, and will integrate beautifully with Discord perks, fan incentives, and digital goodies.
- **Cali On Tour** – NYC is definitely where you’ll find me most of the time. Home base is important to my mental health, but stay tuned for how I’ll be rolling out tour dates, iand fan meetups in away game cities They are coming back. I like the stability of home but also the pull of adventures out in the great wide open pull strong on me. Speak your requests. I’m not saying I will come to your town. But I am saying if I don’t know your town exists…I will probably inot go.
Each of these projects will get its own moment in the spotlight—but this is your teaser trailer. Know that there’s intention, architecture, and momentum under the hood. We’re no longer throwing content at the wall.
I’m trying to build an empire with intention.
🛡️ The Cali Fan Vanguard: Call for Help, Call to Arms
Okay, deep breath.
This is the part where I admit something big:
I can’t keep running this empire completely on my own.
I’ve done it for years. Through mental health spirals, algorithmic censorship, shadowbans, platform bans, death-by-DM inboxes, breakdowns, glow-ups, and full-on ghostings… I’ve been, for the most part, the one woman show behind the chaos you know and love.
But the truth is—I’m tired. And not like “just need a spa day” tired. I’m this lifestyle isn’t sustainable if I want to stay healthy and consistent tired.
So I’m doing something radical. I’m asking for help.
And not from some soulless intern or corporate assistant.
I’m asking you.
I’m forming the Cali Fan Vanguard—a volunteer fan council made up of loyal legends who understand the vision and want to help build something more consistent, more connected, and more powerful… together.
👑 First, a royal shoutout:
KingRobert, my Discord mod and certified ride-or-die, has already been carrying half this castle on his back. He’s been here through the fog, the quiet spells, the relaunches, and the meltdowns—holding space and energy with grace, humor, and unshakable loyalty. And until this point, quite literally a thankless job.
Robert, thank you so much. Even when it’s all going wrong, knowing it’s not just me it’s falling apart on is so much space to breathe for me. You have no idea . You’re the best.
And he’s now not just a mod. He’s the Chair of the Fan Vanguard.
He’ll represent the fan side epically and show up daily to help keep the fires lit. He’s your go-to when I’m off somewhere journaling in a silk robe or crawling out of a symptom spiral. If I’m the High Priestess of Chaos, he’s the Paladin of Structure.
But make no mistake:
I’m still the head bitch in charge.
The Vanguard works for me with me, not instead of me.
You’ll help steer the ship—but I’m still the wind and the whiskey.
💼 What does the Vanguard do?
Depending on your strengths, you might:
Keep the Discord running like a well-lubed fantasy tavernCreate quests, theme nights, or raids
Watch over points systems, merch drops, and token tracking
Help me keep the NSFW/SFW lines flowing together cleanly
Offer emotional spot checks or scheduling nudges when needed
Help me make and implement decisions when I need rest or time away
Help figure out what you COULD BE DOING!
This isn’t about replacing me—it’s about stabilizing the foundation with me. So I can keep doing the parts only I can do—creating content, connecting deeply, and being your favorite charmingly unstable smut goblin.
💌 Want to join the Vanguard?
DM me directly on Discord if you’re interested.
That’s right—me. Not a form. Not a bot.
Slide in with a respectful hello, a little about you, and why you want to be part of the Vanguard.
This isn’t unpaid labor (I mean it totally is 🤣)It’s sacred slut service.
There will be perks, gratitude, behind-the-scenes access, and probably some wildly inappropriate group chats.
But most importantly—you’ll be part of the infrastructure that keeps Cali Reign alive, thriving, and present.
Because this world we’ve built?
It’s worth protecting. Together.
And who wants to live in a world without Cali Reign?
Final Thoughts (And Promises I Intend to Keep)
If you made it this far—damn, you’re dedicated. Thank you for sitting with me through one hell of a brain-and-body download. This update was a lot, Took me so many weeks/days to get out once I sat down to write it. But it’s out now. And I believe it’s also the beginning of a whole new chapter.
I’m hopeful. I’m horny. I’m healing. I’m here. And most importantly…
I’m her ☺️
The one and only.
This next era? It’s gonna be my *sluttiest* yet—and now you know the full story behind the scenes. Let’s make it legendary together.
See you soon, my sweet perverts. Stay freaky. Stay patient. And stay close.
With all my whipped cream and none of my filters,
-Cali